I’ve went from one thing to another. From being an extreme devout christian to being a 5 percenter than claiming nothing. I was claiming atheism. Now I’m back to believing in God. Believing in God is difficult. I still have issues with belief. Ya know when I was in church I use to think that we were God’s little workers. I spent so much of my life being angry and pissed off at God for not helping us or not giving us any tools. That was my interpretation and my perception of the scriptures. The reason why I didn’t study astrology in 2006 was because of one scripture that told me not to go to psychics, astrologers, seers and etc. (I don’t remember where the scripture was located).I’m paraphrasing the what the scripture said. I was conflicted than too which was another buildup of anger. At that time I only knew about my sun sign,rising and moon sign that I got from remembering the birth time on my birth certificate and going to astro.com that’s as far as I went. What I needed was an answer to why things happen. The Bible wasn’t giving me that. In my mind I thought God had just left us down here with nothing. As time progressed I became more angry and depressed. The anger turned into an anger that grew inside of me daily. Every prayer was an angry prayer. I would go to the beach at night and start yelling and screaming because I felt like a little ant. As time progressed I got a job working at Mcdonald’s and at first it was cool, but as time progressed the anger/sadness would creep out. Than I began to be mad at everything and just wanted to end it. As the saying goes be careful what you wish for you may get it. To make a long story short. I went to the hospital to get my appendix taken out. I had been sick for quite some time. This wasn’t the first time I went to the hospital, but as soon as I went the doctors told me that I was close to being gone, They operated on me that night. I had inflammation to my kidney, intestines and other organs in my body. After I got out I began to study astrology broke up with my ex and found a new love. My new love was astrology. My new obsession. I brought books,books and more books. Spent money on readings. I use to read interpretations on my way to work. For some people can just pray go to church, do a ritual and get on with life. But, people such as myself need and answer that goes underneath the surface. I have to know why. I don’t think God, creator or the universe would just leave us down here with no map, no instructions, no tools or anything. I see alot of my friends and family who have no interest in finding hidden meanings and can just do mundane things without knowing why. But people such as myself need science or some sort of occult knowledge. Everyone has their spiritual path and their own lessons in life. My lesson in life is to be in control of my life and to do my own thing, not be so dependent on others beliefs. Think for myself and create my life on my own terms.