I grew up in a couple of small towns in California. One small town was called Helendale ,CA or some people call it Silver Lakes. This town was like a retirement town. Helendale was outside of Barstow and Victorville off of Route 66. I lived about 2 and half hours from Las Vegas. The other town I grew up in was outside of Palmdale, this town is called Lake Los Angeles until I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade. I grew up isolated. I had very few. Most of my days were spent in the house especially due to the weather. The weather was either too hot or cold. I grew up in nice houses. By the 2nd or 3rd grade I moved to Helendale, CA. I didn’t know anything about nothing. I was so nieve. I went to church on occasions. It wasn’t until I got to high school was when I had an interest in astrology. As I got older I became more interested in astrology(around 2006 to be exact) I remember my aunt gave me about 20 or 30 dollars. No one ever gave me money I caught the bus and went straight to Barnes and Noble, bought my first astrology book Linda Goodman’s Love Signs and a couple of magazines XXL and another magazine with Eminem on the cover. When I read Linda Goodman’s book on cancer. I thought to myself this stuff isn’t true about me. Now at this time I had never been in a relationship(I wasn’t allowed to) As far as the characteristics of Cancer. It wouldn’t be until I get older that I realize I do possess these traits. For about 17 years of my life I knew nothing about life, only things I saw on TV. As I found out later on what being black actually was. I mean I grew up in a town with mostly white people. I had a friend named Adrian who ended up becoming a Goth.I had moved to Hesperia for about 6 months to a year. I finally started hanging around black people and I began listening to the wake up show with DJ Tech and Sway. When I came back to Helendale my friend was a Goth which was a fashion statement around this time (1997-1998) Yes the Goth phase was in my era. I had always been a hip hop fan. All this isolation though gave me nothing but time to think. Nothing but time to daydream. I used to think or believe that aliens took my mother.(probably because of the movie E.T.) This was the beginning of my journey into astrology and other metaphysics. The isolation kept me asking and pondering questions that I never knew I had questions. As I got older and found out about my life path number. I began to see that this was all apart of my journey. The time alone. My life path number is a 7. So my solitude is more important to me than anything.
I had a conversation with an astrology friend. She reminded me of another aspect that I thought about, but never went over something that I may not have discussed. In my chart there are a few other placements that would indicate attractions to Aquariuses and vice versa. In my natal chart I have Sun and Mars in cancer in my 11th house. The 11th house deals with friendships,humanitarian and well wishes. Wherever the Sun sits in your chart also shows what kind of people you may be attracted to. 11th house is also known as Aquariuses house. Usually wherever the Sun sits will show us what kind of energy we are attracted to.
Usually wherever Mars is in your chart will show how a person’s sex drive is and how a person deals with anger and aggression. I have quite a few Cancerian/Aquarian themes in my chart. I also have Uranus in Sagittarius in my 4th house. Home life was moving not a lot,(other aspects in chart shows this as well) but I did move quite a bit and I grew up with Latinoes and white people. Sagittarius is all about different cultures and religious backgrounds and with Uranus there it just gives a different atmosphere to home life. So, I have Sun and Mars in Cancer in my 11th house, Uranus in Sagittarius in my 11th house. I have Jupiter in Aquarius in my 6th house. All these placements are Cancerian/Aquarian themes
What is a node?
When the moon travels around the earth and the earth travels around the sun. This distance between the sun and the earth is called the ecliptic. The distance that the moon makes between the earth is the nodes. It is the midpoints between the sun and the moon, The 2 points that the earth and the moon makes that lines up with 2 signs that are opposing each other. These 2 points show us where our destinies are. Our south node shows us our past lives and gifts. Our north node shows us the direction of our south node. The direction of our north node in a natal astrology chart shows the direction of where the person is headed. The house position, the sign and aspects to the nodes can show us our obstacles and strengths to get there. The nodes aren’t planets It’s 2 points of the midpoint between the earth and moon as the earth and moon go around the sun.
I’ve noticed people with south node in fire signs can be very blunt and forthcoming and these people tend to have an artistic gift such as singing, writing or public speaking.These people can also be arrogant, self-centered and selfish. They don’t properly channel their high level into something such as sports or working out because of excess energy.
South node in water signs are spiritual. These people tend to know about magic or are well versed with the psyche. Intuitive or psychic they know how to use their subconscious minds to create their reality. Their downfall is depending too much on these gifts. Also water signs deal with giving and receiving and never giving. These people can also be manipulative due to them knowing how people react or playing on people’s emotions or feelings for their benefit.
South node in air signs tend to be able to see everybody’s point of view. They’re good at bringing people together. The downside of this is misconstruing information. Being so inclined to wanna bring groups together taking on different viewpoints.
Earth south nodes are very practical. Hardworking. These people are very much in tune with their bodies. These people have suffered greatly from being of service and doing work from past lives. They can be very routine, dry and even stubborn. These people can be dominating, forceful and strict when it comes to getting things done.
I’ve went from one thing to another. From being an extreme devout christian to being a 5 percenter than claiming nothing. I was claiming atheism. Now I’m back to believing in God. Believing in God is difficult. I still have issues with belief. Ya know when I was in church I use to think that we were God’s little workers. I spent so much of my life being angry and pissed off at God for not helping us or not giving us any tools. That was my interpretation and my perception of the scriptures. The reason why I didn’t study astrology in 2006 was because of one scripture that told me not to go to psychics, astrologers, seers and etc. (I don’t remember where the scripture was located).I’m paraphrasing the what the scripture said. I was conflicted than too which was another buildup of anger. At that time I only knew about my sun sign,rising and moon sign that I got from remembering the birth time on my birth certificate and going to astro.com that’s as far as I went. What I needed was an answer to why things happen. The Bible wasn’t giving me that. In my mind I thought God had just left us down here with nothing. As time progressed I became more angry and depressed. The anger turned into an anger that grew inside of me daily. Every prayer was an angry prayer. I would go to the beach at night and start yelling and screaming because I felt like a little ant. As time progressed I got a job working at Mcdonald’s and at first it was cool, but as time progressed the anger/sadness would creep out. Than I began to be mad at everything and just wanted to end it. As the saying goes be careful what you wish for you may get it. To make a long story short. I went to the hospital to get my appendix taken out. I had been sick for quite some time. This wasn’t the first time I went to the hospital, but as soon as I went the doctors told me that I was close to being gone, They operated on me that night. I had inflammation to my kidney, intestines and other organs in my body. After I got out I began to study astrology broke up with my ex and found a new love. My new love was astrology. My new obsession. I brought books,books and more books. Spent money on readings. I use to read interpretations on my way to work. For some people can just pray go to church, do a ritual and get on with life. But, people such as myself need and answer that goes underneath the surface. I have to know why. I don’t think God, creator or the universe would just leave us down here with no map, no instructions, no tools or anything. I see alot of my friends and family who have no interest in finding hidden meanings and can just do mundane things without knowing why. But people such as myself need science or some sort of occult knowledge. Everyone has their spiritual path and their own lessons in life. My lesson in life is to be in control of my life and to do my own thing, not be so dependent on others beliefs. Think for myself and create my life on my own terms.
After I started studying my astrology chart I began to be attracted to Aquariuses and Aquariuses began to be more attracted to me. The astrologer Simon Vorster an evolutionary astrologer. (2+0+1+5=8 2015 was an 8 year & my personal year was a 1 year) He told me that I had a missing step with Jupiter squaring my north node and south node in Taurus and Scorpio. In order to fulfill apart of my destiny I needed to deal with this Jupiter in Aquarius. At the time my chart wasn’t rectified. Meaning that I was using the birth time that was on my birth certificate. When I got the reading my Jupiter was placed in the 5th house. Jupiter in the 5th house would make me fertile and I would probably have more than 2 children. Even with Saturn squaring Jupiter. I got my chart rectified 2 years later by my now astrology teacher Coach Khayr. After I got my chart rectified that placed Jupiter in my 6th house. The reason for all this Aquarius energy is for me to focus on my work,routine, and health. In order for me to get to my purpose. I’m going to have to deal with my Jupiter in Aquarius. After I started studying my chart I began to become more attracted to Aquariuses and with this Jupiter in Aquarius these men that I kept attracting or were attracted to me were highlighting part of my purpose. Which was my work. What I needed to do to get to my purpose was dealing with my 6th house. These men had their sun and mercury in my 6th house. As I began to study astrology these men were highlighting parts of myself that I hadn’t payed attention to.
Aquarius represents astrology or the cosmos. Aquarius is intuitive. Sometimes the unconventionalness is a streak of genius far beyond in the future vs. us regular signs are stuck in the present moment. With Aquarius being ruled by the planet Uranus. Uranus represents the cosmos and technology and highly innovative. The missing step is for me to be doing work in my field whether that is through technology or through astrology or anything Aquarius related.
The planet Jupiter shows us how we believe what field we would be good teachers at. Jupiter shows us our expertise. The area that can help us grow through finances, health and other resources depending on where it is located in the chart. I know a couple of women with 2 or more children who have their Jupiter in the 5th house. The 5th house represents children,sex and creativity. Jupiter being the jolly and expanding planet. Jupiter in the 5th house would make an individual fertile.
As the saying goes nothing happens by chance. Well the 2 Aquarius men that came into my life to bring me back to my purpose. Jupiter sits in my 6th house not my 5th house so part of my work here on earth is Aquarius related. I didn’t get into technology, but I did get into astrology.. I’m taking advantage of the step or karma to help me knock down my karmic/dharmic past
Confessions of a south node in scorpio thoughts & 4 planets rx in chart
Ever since I began studying the natal astrology charts even before I started studying. I seem to have an issue with not valuing myself. I seem to look for guidance from men. Not knowing that I really don’t need a man to show me or tell me what it is that I need. Always feeling like I have no control over events. Never being able to think for myself. What does Patti want? What does Patti think? Not what other men think. I’m always merging with other men. As a matter of fact I’ve changed identities and ideologies, so much through other people. Now that I finally stand firm on my beliefs and my own ideologies. This time I refuse to compromise or waiver with anyone. What you see is what you get. And I don’t give a shit. Friends or family. Oh well This is what it is.Take it or leave it.
During this rx I realized that I don’t need a man to make me feel worthy. All I really need is myself and I have to learn how to stand on my own 2 feet. Now Patti knows what she wants. Patti is finally focused on her own shit and her own feelings. My feelings are valid. I don’t need a crew or group of people to tell me or always be around to make me feel secure. I can do it.
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A song I wrote to this beat called Evolution ii reel life on 3-16 apparently I didn’t know what day it was because I didn’t write the day. As I look back on my life reel the memories of all the struggles/Running through the jungles/like a wild animal/ I see myself changing/tired of being broke/searching […]
via — Site Title
A song I wrote to this beat called Evolution ii reel life on 3-16 apparently I didn’t know what day it was because I didn’t write the day.
As I look back on my life reel the memories of all the struggles/Running through the jungles/like a wild animal/ I see myself changing/tired of being broke/searching for the truth while everybody’s looking for hope/Saying to myself don’t I deserve better than this/Wondering why I’m depressed and stressed/tired of sleeping on the floor/catching buses/my heart is flustered/My heart been broke for many years/long rides to work/many tears/many fears/staying locked up in a shell of my own created hell/blaming my environment studying my natal chart/virgo rising breaking it down and tearing it apart for a couple of years/seeing my mind get blown the dreams the visions have been leading me/everyday feeding me/these past couple of days all I wanna do is write, write,write/broke down at my cousins funeral site/tired of seeing people dying/only the strong survive/As I was laying on the death bed I was supposed to have died on at the end of 2013/laying there in the bed/with my moon progressed into scorpio/I had been in the dark so long/coming out of the darkness/coming out of the coffin/working on my thoughts day by day/while I listen to this beat/the light in the tunnel/becomes less weak/my future doesn’t look so bleek